The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood his ground.
It’s important to stand your ground. I think more often than not, people allow others to manipulate them for lack of understanding or confidence in what they truly believe.
They are confused about how to respond when someone insists their opinion is right and that theirs is wrong. Many people believe or are persuaded to believe that they must agree to avoid an argument. This is either because they don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings or maybe they just want to avoid an uncomfortable situation.
The fact is that we are not responsible for the feelings of others; moreover, disagreeing with someone only proves that we believe in our convictions and values enough to stand up for the truth regardless of the consequences.
Does this mean we are to be aggressive? Absolutely not! Assertiveness is the key. You see, there is a difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness. Aggressiveness is when you ruthlessly give your opinion. Voicing your option of the matter hatefully and maliciously causing fear in another person.
To be assertive, is to tell the persistent person the truth about how you feel or what your opinion is without being hateful, or worrying about their response. In other words, standing up for the truth regardless of the outcome; however, we must keep in mind that kindness is the key.
An example of this would be if my best friend said she was going on a date and that she couldn’t find a baby sitter and pleaded with me to fill in for the babysitter. I’m studying for my final exam, which is tomorrow.
My response would be to tell her the truth. I would say something like this…”I would love to help you out but I’m studying for my final exam.” That’s being assertive. You don’t have to say anything but the truth and leave it at that. If my best friend is truly my best friend, she would accept it and realize that my exam takes priority. If, on the other hand she gets angry insisting I babysit, well this proves she’s not really a best friend and I allow her to be angry realizing that I’m not responsible for her feelings. This so called “best friend,” is trying to manipulate me, because she is selfish and is not a true friend. I would ignore her and continue with my studies.
Another response using the aggressive tones…
What are you freaking nuts? You’re so selfish! I have an exam for college tomorrow and I need to study. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine….sorry charlie!
You get the drift?
We are not responsible to make other people’s lives work they are.
We are not responsible for other people’s feelings.
We are responsible for our lives only.
We must be like the little nut and stand our ground then we can grow into a mighty oak tree…and remember, “You have to stand for something or you may fall for anything.”
And last but not least, “My absolute favorite quote,” It’s by GHANDI. …”BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. ”
Peace, from *Dawnasong*
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